Tomorrow

June 24, 2018

Tomorrow

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll get on a plane that will take me from this life as I know it. Tomorrow. I can't explain how fast this year has gone by, how much those first days and weeks feel like a dream, like memories from another lifetime. Because when I first got here, ten and a half months felt like a lifetime away, but then time played its tricks on me and catapulted me straight to late June where I am today. Although I flew through time faster than the speed of light, I still managed to live what seems like a whole lifetime in the course of the year, and in that weird, paradoxical way life is, August 9th 2018 feels like both a lifetime and a few short seconds ago at the same time. As I sit here trying to write this, I'm having a really hard time formulating all the thoughts in my head into sensical sentences. My mind is a mixture of two languages, memories, expectations for the next chapter of my life, fears, and hopes. If only you could see how much I'm struggling to get these words out. It's been an emotional week, and there's only more to come. Life is full of beginnings and endings, and this one of the first big endings in mine. I haven't had to deal with these kind of goodbyes before, and it's taken its toll on me emotionally. One thought of the people I've said goodbye to already and whom I may not see for years and the tears start up again. I have no idea if seeing all the people I've been away from this year the next few days will help or make it worse, but I'm accepting it as a part of the adventure this year has been, and recognizing that being sad about leaving only says how amazing my time here has been. I wish the words would come out of my hands as easily and smoothly as they usually do, but I'm stuck between so many emotions and think I just need some time to get over this transition and sort out the thoughts in my head. I'll try to describe how it is to leave a bit more poetically next week once I'm back in the US, but for now I'll take you through my very last week here in Norway.

Monday started off with a walk through Ekeberg park, a park in the city with lots of statues. Our class walked around in small groups to find a number of the statues, and then we continued on to our contact teacher's house for lunch as a class. The weather wasn't great, but it was nice to gather the class outside of school and get to sit down all together. That evening I received news from Portsmouth that my all-time favorite teacher who to me is so much more than a teacher wouldn't be returning to our school next year. I was already a bit emotionally unstable at the prospect of returning in one short week, and the news put me over the edge. I was crushed to say the least, and didn't know how to handle it as there was little I could do from so many miles away except write a letter, which I did. As strange as it sounds, getting such bad news mentally prepped me a bit more for leaving, as I felt like I had a concrete reason to go back that couldn't wait, say, another year. Tuesday we had to return all our textbooks and clean the classroom which we spent a little over an hour doing. After that I met up with a Norwegian friend who had been on exchange last year to talk about what it's like to leave and tips for making the transition as smooth as possible. I felt that I wasn't nearly as prepared to leave as I had been to come here, as strange as that may sound, and it was nice to talk to someone with experience in that area. I left feeling much more calm and ready, and headed over to Sarah's.

I made my way to Sarah's to print out some pictures I was giving as presents, and after a little bit we made our way to the piers in the city to meet friends for Frida's birthday party. Our group took a ferry over to an island in the fjord and grilled and talked and played games and celebrated Frida turning 17. I eventually headed home, and went to bed for the second to last day of school. Well, minutes of school I should really say, because I ended up being at school for a total of 15 minutes on Wednesday. We were supposed to discuss ideas of ways to make next year's 1B class feel welcome, but that really didn't take very long. It ended up being a good thing we left early, because the next few hours turned into some of the more stressful hours of my life, as dramatic as that sounds, and had I gone home just a few hours later, those next hours would probably have turned 100x more stressful.

You see, I was going to wash the trumpet I had borrowed for the year before giving it back after our last time playing the next day. So I go about that, following the directions from the people I borrowed it from, when I lose my grip on the instrument and it falls (only a few inches, thankfully) to the ground. I had taken all the slides and valves off so all that hit the ground was the metal tube that holds the first valve slide, but that metal is soft enough that one side of the tube dented quite a bit, deforming it enough that the slide couldn't be put on again. I panicked, and got in touch with the person I had loaned it from, who recommended a music shop that might be able to fix it. A phone call to them later, and I was even more stressed as they weren't able to fix it as fast as I needed it (remember, I'm supposed to return it the next day) and the shop they recommended I try was too far away for me to get to in time. Thankfully I got another recommendation and when I called, the man that answered said he could at least look at the damage and see if it was fixable in a day. I made my way to the complete other side of the city as fast as I could and apparently all the Gods were on my side because he was able to fix it in under half an hour, but said those kind of dents can take hours and hours to fix, so I had really gotten lucky. He even gave me a very generous discount, partially I think because he could see how stressed I was. As awful as that was in the moment, I think it's a good anecdote to use to show how I've grown this year. I would not have been able to tackle that stress a year ago, and definitely would not have had the guts to ask for help and accept it from people in the same way. It also shows how much Norwegians genuinely want to help others, something I'm really going to miss next year. Not that Americans don't want to help, but I feel that it's a much more common trait in Norway.

I was able to return home with a functioning trumpet, and get some sleep before my actual last day of school, which lasted much longer than 15 minutes. Thursday was the first day I had had to be at school before 10 am in weeks, and that 6:45 alarm was not my friend. Once I was up it was okay though, and I made my way to Katta for the last time. I met the rest of the orchestra and choir and we warmed up and got ready to play for the end of year ceremony for first and second year students. The ceremony was pretty short, and afterwards we had another short knighting ceremony for a few students who couldn't make it to the first one. When that was over we went back to our classrooms to get our report cards, and I had to say goodbye to a few of my classmates. Most people went home then, but we had another concert a few hours later, so I stayed with friends and we ate Norwegian pastries to make sure I had gotten my fill before leaving for who knows how long. When it was time we walked down to a pavilion in front of the national theater where we played some songs for a crowd consisting mostly of tourists. Afterwards we went back to the school for dinner and practice before playing for the graduation ceremony for the third years. Every student who was graduating received a diploma, and there were speeches and musical performances. It was a really nice ceremony, and as I left the school for the very last time, the dark clouds with sun somehow still shining through matched my mood perfectly. It was a bittersweet moment; I love that school so much and knowing I'll never be a student there again turned into my first emotional breakdown that evening.

Friday was just as melancholy, and started with having to say goodbye to Mathea who was leaving for a trip. As amazing as exchange is, leaving your friends sucks. There's just no better way to put it. I spent the next hour or so crying on and off but had to get myself together for my goodbye party. Most of my class plus the other friends I made this year gathered in a park where we ate food, talked about the year, and ultimately said goodbye. It was sad to say goodbye, but something about having so many people there made it easier to say goodbye and there was a much more positive atmosphere. After a few hours with them, I went back home for the summer party in our neighborhood and some packing. Yesterday we took one last trip out to the cabin for a late lunch and for me to say goodbye to all the grandparents. The weather was perfect, and it was nice to be out there one last time. A good chunk of the rest of the evening was spent packing, or should I say trying to make every item I own that's coming back with me as physically small as possible. I'm still surprised I got my suitcase closed...

This morning we had our last family breakfast with Norwegian pancakes, and I've been packing and getting ready the rest of the morning. In a little bit I'll meet the rest of de førstefødte for our goodbye, which will most definitely result in lots of tears. This evening I'll also have to say goodbye to the kids because we're leaving super super early tomorrow and the kids have to be at preschool and camp a few hours after.

Next time you hear from me I'll (most likely) be back in the US, with stories of reuniting after a year. Thank you so much to everyone who's read these posts, and for all the kind feedback and comments I've gotten regarding this blog. I haven't quite decided what I'm going to do with the blog when I come back, but you can expect at the very least a post next Sunday!

Word of the Post:
i morgen = tomorrow

I have a few pictures, but I've been trying for the most part to enjoy my time here with my favorite people.